++just follow the flow++

i thought of blogging about this yesterday..but i was too sleepy to type a blog..i realize when i dont write this, i will keep thinking about this over and over again..becoz i dont have the guts and the strength to tell her about this..


yesterday i was soooo damn bored..x tau nak buat ape...so aku x abes2 dok buat quiz kat facebook, bukak myspace, selongkar friendster org..hahahaha...suddenly an old friend buzz me kat facebook..then kitorg borak2 about life..arghhh...tp ko single...u dont feel how i feel..lgpon ko awek.. ko x kan figure out why aku have this feeling..but i was sooooo comfortable chatting with u SORAYA...aku kene bitau name kau..nnt mem besar aku muncung plak..aku knal kau dr sekolah rendah..walaupon ko x rapat ngan aku mase skolah..aku heran jgk nape ko tau byk jgk psl aku.. and ape je yg ko ckp btol2 masuk dlm pale otak aku..tp time has change me..aku bukan mcm dulu.. ye, dulu aku mmg player..aku x nak commitment..aku tinggal satu pompuan pagi ni, tgh hari nnt aku dah ade gf baru..tp itu dulu..mase aku still budak hingusan..mase tu aku xtau ape itu erti commitment...dan aku x knal lagi betapa bererti nye bile someone tu nak ade commitment ngan aku...coz i never care! mmg btol ko kate kalo pompuan skang ni sakitkan aku, aku bole blah bile2 je..{com'on la kama..ko tinggal sorg sepuloh mari beb!} gile ko gune ayat ni..ni zaman dulu bole la gune..and one more thing ayat tu applicable bile aku kat jb je ok?? skang life aku 200% kat kl..i'm a total stranger here..aku xsalahkan kau kalo ko nak marah aku sbb aku jd seorang PENCINTA YG SETIA.. sbb salah aku..the time has change me..tapi time x penah ubah hakikat yg aku ni kawan kau..so ko jgn x nak kawan aku sebab aku SETIA ok??


after lunch.aku chat ngan sorg member lame jgk..yg ni aku rapat sket..name die ROZANAH AMIR KHAN...yang aku x ley blah die ni dulu straight..entah camne die jd bengkok plak..curious gak aku..so aku pon tanye la die...rupenye die ni putus cinta dgn lelaki...lelaki tu control die gile babi tp lastly kantoi laki tu ade org lain..damn lah!! so, ade sorg pengkid ni usha die..then die try and skang mmg tangkap cintan abes lah!! siap tanye aku petua..cam aku ni pengalaman sgt...kat bawah ni aku tulis ape yg die tanye aku ok..

soalan 1
ape yg peng expect dr gf die?

jawapan aku: 3)perhatian 2)kasih sayang 1)kejujuran

lepas aku break off dgn mira after 4 years relationship, aku mmg xde ape2 expectation pon lepas aku jmp budak gemok nih..tp lame2 aku rase expectation aku lagi tinggi dr expectation die..because she's different..tp expectation aku xde la tinggi sgt sbb aku tau aku ni kalo frust mmg menonggeng lah!!!so..no more high expectation ok??cukuplah yg 3 basic kat atas tuh...


soalan 2
kaum cam korang ni mmg nak selalu dekat partner ke?

jawapan aku: peng lain aku x tau la...tpbg aku x perlu dekat pon xpe..asalkan tinggal serumah!! wakakaka..hampeh kan??

pada aku bende ni pokok pangkal nye hati masing2..ape gune nye dekat kalo serumah pon ade peluang selingkuh..kan??kan?? baik duk jauh..confirm2 ko mmg curang..hak3..kalo kantoi pon xde la sakit sgt..dekat tu plak bukan bermaksud ko nak bekepit je sampai nak satu ofis, makan breakfast lunch dinner dgn die..owh god..bosan nye..bg aku cukup la aku rase die dekat dgn aku walaupon die xde dpn mata..bile gf aku call aku tanye camne eja 'fulfill' pon aku rase dekat sgt ngan die..{nape ko x tanye lecturer english tu huh??}-ni soalan jahat dlm hati aku...and this small thing je bole buat aku rase dekat dgn die..u got wat i mean rite??


soalan 3
ko x takot ke ko da sayang die, tibe2 die kena kawen??

{sentap siak!!}

jawapan aku: 1-{ni jawapan rasional-mase emosi stabil dan befikiran waras} aku dah jage die sehabis baik..kalo die dah jmp org yg lebih baik, xkan aku nak halang...bg aku kalo die nak kawin, itu satu kebaikan utk die...kalo aku sayang die, knape aku nak halang ape yg terbaik utk die??dan aku pegang satu prinsip-mencintai bukan bermaksud memiliki..

2-{ni jawapan mase x rasional-mase emosi sedang bergelora dan dilanda sawan} woi, aku dah berhabis banyak utk kau...aku dah hilang mcm2 utk kau..senang2 je ko nak blah kan...kalo ko kawen aku potong konek laki kau!!

hanya anda tau sape anda...aku letak dua jawapan sebab aku punye mood ni fluctuate..die berubah2 mengikut arah angin..hahahaha...tp aku mmg ckp kat budak gemok...kalo awk jmp yg lebey baik dr saye...yg bole jage awk lebey baik dr saye...sy xkan halang..mungkin sy akan frust menonggeng tp sy xkan halang...sbb sy tau hakikatnye..kalo awk jumpe yg lebey baik dr sy...sy pon bole jumpe yg lebey baik dr awk...kan??kan??


ok2...dah habis dah sesi soal jawab..skang aku nk ckp psl satu bende yg aku terfikir mase dlm kete pas balik dinner smlm...she was so excited telling me about wat she did at work..and deep inside me, i know she really love her job!! she deal with a lot of important people..dato' A, dato' V and mostly all the dato' and tan sri.. a few famous people like fedtri yahya and wardina.. a thought came through my mind.. what if one day she become someone important?? will she dump me to secure her reputation?? i did not tell her about this...nnt merajuk lg kan?kan?

ini la gune nye blog..to express what i cant express towards you..will you have the answer??or u just cant see what are you going to do??or you just dont wanna think about it now and just go with the flow??haahaha...tp i just want the best for u...if dumping me is the best for you, go ahead ok??


i will just follow the flow...i wont hesitate anything that will happen to me coz i do believe in fate..
i will just follow the flow...i wont hold you back and made you think twice
i will just follow the flow...just go with the flow!!